When I first registered my daughter, Lily, for soccer five years ago, I made a conscious decision to take a back seat. I wouldn’t volunteer to be the head coach. Instead, I would take a role as an assistant/orange-slice dispenser. The plan was for me to lend support, but not loom too large over my daughter.
Soccer had always been “Mommy’s thing.” I grew up with the sport, was the captain of a Division 1 team in college, and I’d also just finished my first novel, which – surprise, surprise – was about a young soccer player. Named Lily.
Talk about a little pressure on a 6-year-old.
Lily’s coach was a nice, dedicated guy, for sure. But seconds before the first game started, he turned to me and said: “O.K. You take offense, and I’ll take defense.”
We were apparently going to be coaching soccer, N.F.L.-style. This father meant well, but it was clear that he had no idea how to guide this little team.
So I decided to step up (for the sake of the girls, and for my own sanity). After that season, I became Lily’s coach and have shepherded her team from recreational soccer, to travel, and now, to the premier level. It hasn’t always been easy – or, for that matter, fun. It’s a ton of work and a huge commitment. There’s drama. There’s stress. And wow, are there a lot of emails.
But every time I have considered stepping away (I want my weekends to myself, I want to watch my daughter as a parent, not a coach, and how many things is a mother expected to do in this lifetime?) my husband responds with a question that stops me in my tracks: If not you, then who?
To be clear, it’s not as though there aren’t capable coaches out there. Of course there are. But, having paced the sidelines for five years now, I can count on one hand the number of female coaches I’ve seen. It was the same deal for me, as a child. I played soccer from the age of 8, and never had a female head coach. Not in youth soccer, not in high school, not in college, nor post-college. I loved and valued my coaches, and I still seek their counsel. This is not a dig at male coaches. I just want more women in the game.
“Coaching is fundamentally about connecting; making a kid believe in themselves and giving them a path,” Daniel Coyle, author of the best-selling “The Talent Code” told me. “What better combination of signals do you project when you have a former female athlete who is able to say, ‘I know how you feel because I have been there myself’?”
I was 4 years old when Title IX was passed. Playing soccer paved the way for my admission to Harvard. It empowered me in my career as a journalist, it helped me handle stress, and it inspires me today, as a writer of books about the sport.
I know the reason I didn’t have any female coaches is largely because there was not a generation of women who had played before me — and who had the knowledge and experience to teach me.
Now there is. We are the daughters of Title IX, and this is a plea to you.
We played. We won. We lost. We know how those experiences affected and shaped us. And many of us now are mothers. I’m not just talking about soccer, either. I’m talking about softball, basketball, lacrosse, tennis, etc. There is, at last, a generation of women who have the training and experience to teach their own children and others.
I called one of the most over-qualified mothers I know, the soccer icon Brandi Chastain. “I feel like we have a responsibility to share what we’ve learned, what we’ve experienced,” she said. “I mean, isn’t this how it’s supposed to work?”
It also matters. Holly Gordon, a founder of Girl Rising: Educate Girls, Change the World, a global movement for girls’ education, has a daughter who also plays on a team in the same club. “Sports is so much about life,” she said. “Resilience, discipline, effort, teamwork. It’s really important that girls are learning those lessons from women who were once girls themselves.”
Maybe it’s just for a season. Maybe it’s just for a session. Maybe like me, it’s for several years. But ladies, my plea to you is to get out there for our girls. Do what you can. Pick them up from the mud, tell them to do their best, and know innately that within them lies more strength than they can imagine.
Because this is the way it’s supposed to work.
And if you have doubts — as I sometimes do, when I’m up at 11 p.m., trying to secure field time for a make-up game an hour away from home — just ask yourself: If not you, then who?
Andrea Montalbano is the author of the middle-grade series,Soccer Sisters. She grew up playing soccer in Miami and was co-captain of her college team. She is the head coach of the Yonkers United Rush U10 Girls and assistant coach of her son’s recreational team. Follow her on Twitter and Facebook.
THE national furor over concussions misses the primary scourge that is harming kids and damaging youth sports in America.
The heightened pressure on child athletes to be, essentially, adult athletes has fostered an epidemic of hyperspecialization that is both dangerous and counterproductive.
One New York City soccer club proudly advertises its development pipeline for kids under age 6, known as U6. The coach-picked stars, “poised for elite level soccer,” graduate to the U7 “pre-travel” program. Parents, visions of scholarships dancing in their heads, enable this by paying for private coaching and year-round travel.
Children are playing sports in too structured a manner too early in life on adult-size fields — i.e., too large for optimal skill development — and spending too much time in one sport. It can lead to serious injuries and, a growing body of sports science shows, a lesser ultimate level of athletic success.
We should urge kids to avoid hyperspecialization and instead sample a variety of sports through at least age 12.
Nearly a third of youth athletes in a three-year longitudinal study led by Neeru Jayanthi, director of primary care sports medicine at Loyola University in Chicago, were highly specialized — they had quit multiple sports in order to focus on one for more than eight months a year — and another third weren’t far behind. Even controlling for age and the total number of weekly hours in sports, kids in the study who were highly specialized had a 36 percent increased risk of suffering a serious overuse injury. Dr. Jayanthi saw kids with stress fractures in their backs, arms or legs; damage to elbow ligaments; and cracks in the cartilage in their joints.
Because families with greater financial resources were better able to facilitate the travel and private coaching that specialization requires, socioeconomic status turned up as a positive predictor of serious injury. Some young athletes now face surgeries befitting their grandparents. Young hockey goaltenders repeatedly practice butterfly style — which stresses the developing hip joint when the legs are splayed to block the bottom of the goal. The sports surgeon Marc Philippon, based in Vail, Colo., saw a 25-year-old goalie who already needed a hip replacement.
In the Loyola study, sport diversification had a protective effect. But in case health risks alone aren’t reason enough for parents to ignore the siren call of specialization, diversification also provides performance benefits.
Kids who play multiple “attacking” sports, like basketball or field hockey, transfer learned motor and anticipatory skills — the unconscious ability to read bodies and game situations — to other sports. They take less time to master the sport they ultimately choose.
Several studies on skill acquisition now show that elite athletes generally practiced their sport less through their early teenage years and specialized only in the mid-to-late teenage years, while so-called sub-elites — those who never quite cracked the highest ranks — homed in on a single sport much sooner.
Data presented at the April meeting of the American Medical Society for Sports Medicine showed that varsity athletes at U.C.L.A. — many with full scholarships — specialized on average at age 15.4, whereas U.C.L.A. undergrads who played sports in high school, but did not make the intercollegiate level, specialized at 14.2.
We may prize the story of Tiger Woods, who demonstrated his swing at age 2 for Bob Hope. But the path of the two-time N.B.A. M.V.P. Steve Nash (who grew up playing soccer and didn’t own a basketball until age 13) or the tennis star Roger Federer (whose parents encouraged him to play badminton, basketball and soccer) is actually the norm.
A Swedish study of sub-elite and elite tennis players — including five who ranked among the top 15 in the world — found that those who topped out at as sub-elites dropped all other sports by age 11. Eventual elites developed in a “harmonious club environment without greater demands for success,” and played multiple sports until age 14.
The sports science data support a “sampling period” through at least age 12. Mike Joyner, a Mayo Clinic physician and human performance expert, would add general physical literacy-building to the youth sports menu: perhaps using padded gymnastics gyms for parkour, which is essentially running, climbing or vaulting on any obstacle one can find.
In addition to athletic diversity, kids’ sports should be kid-size.
In Brazil, host of this month’s World Cup, kids are weaned on “futsal,” a lightly structured and miniaturized form of soccer. Futsal is played on tiny patches of grass or concrete or on indoor courts and typically by teams of five players.
Players touch the ball up to five times as frequently as they do in traditional soccer, and the tighter playing area forces children to develop foot and decision-making skills under pressure.
A futsalization of youth sports generally would serve engagement, skill development and health.
USA Hockey (which has barred checking in youth games) recently invited adults to play on a 310-by-130-foot ice rink to show them what it’s like for an 8-year-old to play on a regulation rink. The grown-ups’ assessments: “too much time between the action”; “it’s hard to communicate because everyone is spread out so far”; “you end up spending a lot of time in open space.”
Futsal, basketball and … padded parkour? Sounds like a strange three-sport athlete, and a perfect model for kids.
Come march behind our banner in the Memorial Day Parade!
Wear your uniforms and meet on Ridgewood Terrace (off 117) by 10:30am Monday morning.
We’ll be marching just behind the Chappaqua Elementary Schools Marching Band.
Tell your teammates!
Donate Your ‘Special Sporting Wear and Paraphernalia’ (SWAP) at Chappaqua Farmer’s Market
On Saturdays starting May 17th at the outdoor Chappapqua Farmer’s Market in front of the train station, people can take advantage of a sports equipment swap. There is an array of sporting goods for different sports on the table.